I’ll be the Boy, I said. You be the RA.
We don’t like the sound of “R-A," they said.
Yawn, I said. Show me
to my new dorm, Swaxleys.
Hmm, I said. According to this
Course Catalog, I can either take Calculus
for Poets or the History of Gloves.
Please pick that up, they said.
We’re allergic to dust & this
is a Laura Ashley duvet.
You’re already Being Boring, I said.
Should we transition to Evening Wear
& go sit on the quad? Gross, they said.
Do you know Cry Baby? I said.
We’re doing a shadowcast in the
cul-de-sac at midnight. Would you
like to borrow my fishnets?
They said, Do you mean fishsticks?
Alright fine: let’s play Chubby Bunny
naked in the sprinklers, I said.
They said, Don’t you have any regular things?
I pulled out my Barbie & showed them
how to noose it with a charging cable.
They said, But what are the Rules?
I showed them how to haunt a house
with insulation & string. How many drops of Red
to squeeze in the corn syrup. How to french
kiss a fist, make shoulder-pad tits
& do shots of Drambuie
Your Turn, I said.
They said,My turn for what?
This is your First Day of College, I said,
slipping into Frat Drag. So, anything.